Six months in the past, on the subway platform, I snapped a photograph of a classy girl with a shaved head. I despatched it to my greatest buddy and typed, “I need to be her!” I’d wished to shave my head for somewhat over a yr and knew I would do it quickly. After we’d been courting for a few month, I even gave my boyfriend the heads up, “Simply so you recognize, I’m planning on shaving my head sooner or later.” Little did I know, months later, we’d be pulling a DIY in his lavatory, whereas we had been quarantined collectively…
I imagined having extra time to be completely comfy with it, earlier than he noticed it. However as quarantine hit and the whole lot — together with hair salons — began closing, we joked that we should always simply do it ourselves. Joking changed into “No, let’s truly do it…” and earlier than I knew it, I was pitching it as a writing project.
There was a great measure of panic because the day drew nearer. What if my head was a extremely bizarre form? What if I was ugly with no hair? If I am bald and ugly throughout a world pandemic, I don’t know if I can take that. It bought actual after we purchased clippers throughout our weekly grocery run just a few days in the past. “Okay. So we’re actually simply gonna minimize off all my hair, that’s what’s about to occur…” I thought to myself in the self-checkout line. I put it off for just a few extra days, making final minute excuses: “I’m too emotionally fragile tonight, let’s watch one other episode of Excessive Constancy!”
Lastly, over the weekend, on a day that I was particularly emotionally fragile, however keen to do one thing to get out of my funk, I determined to dive in. I snipped off the primary braid after which went on photog obligation, as my boyfriend Steven supplied to take over. The Excessive Constancy soundtrack blasted in the background and we couldn’t cease smiling.
Half the braids are gone.
Midway there. Now we buzz!
Bettye is uncertain about all of this, however can’t look away.
Stepping into it!
“That is the primary haircut I’ve given — EVER!” — Steven
All finished. Completely into it.
I bear in mind a buddy describing how I’d really feel in one good phrase: freedom. There may be a lot freedom in beginning at sq. one, simply you and your head form — bizarre or not. As a lady taught to earn approval by her look, I felt good to go in opposition to that construction and aesthetic a bit extra. I’ve at all times felt extra myself with quick hair, and this time is not any exception. It is extremely grounding, peering into the mirror at your almost bald head. When my hair was quick earlier than, I nonetheless had some top on prime, and now that it’s all gone I really feel form of like my head is the scale of a pea, however I’m rolling with it. One unusual facet of all this was having my boyfriend be the one to chop it. Having somebody I love change part of myself that makes me really feel most stunning was insanely weak, however as we saved going, I couldn’t assist however concentrate on how dope I regarded! “You look so sizzling,” he would say, anytime I appeared somewhat fearful.
As in most experiences that stretch me, I at all times assume I’ll emerge a a lot cooler particular person, now not possessing insecurities, somebody who feels stunning no matter various exterior appearances. As a substitute I am nonetheless me, with all the identical insecurities, greeting and mingling with this model of myself who has at all times existed and has lastly come to the floor.
P.S. Three pure hairstyles, and three quick hair tutorials.
(Pictures courtesy of Kim Rhodes.)