I’ve been social distancing since final Wednesday, when I’ve been working from house. I haven’t been doing too dangerous: I work, chill, stalk folks I don’t like on Instagram for an period of time my therapist considers “unhealthy”, go on a run to get exterior for a couple of minutes—all in all, not that totally different from my regular routine (on the uncommon events when I determine to put low and never black out at brunch). Nevertheless, as of late, happening runs exterior has made me extra anxious as a result of each single f*cking individual in my neighborhood can also be out and about. Staying six ft away from a stranger at any given level is inconceivable. I tried all of it: operating within the morning. Working at evening. Working in the midst of the afternoon. Identical downside. So I determined to kick the social distancing up a notch and never depart my condo, in any respect. (Additionally, to be actual, I’m simply lazy and don’t love operating to start with.) The one downside? Getting sufficient train. I do exercise movies, however I like measuring my exercise in steps. So on Friday, I tried to do the inconceivable: get 10,000 steps with out leaving my condo. Oh, I ought to point out, I dwell in New York Metropolis (pauses for collective gasp). Conveniently, my roommate and I had simply measured our condo, and it’s about 600 sq. ft. Prognosis: not good. 

These are my tales.

9:17am: I start my day with 251 steps. That is going to be laborious.

9:36am: I have to put in writing an article, ya know, do my job. This makes it laborious to rise up and transfer in any capability.

10:20am: Resolve to make scrambled eggs on a low warmth as a result of they take longer to cook dinner that method. I first stroll, then jog backwards and forwards in my kitchen till they’re cooked, scrambling often. It really works decently effectively: I’m as much as 1,314 steps.

11:11am: In contrast to each different day the place I’ve been too lazy to rise up to get extra water as soon as I end mine, I’m going to the kitchen each 10 minutes. I’ve began making lengthy loops round my condo for no motive (going to the kitchen, heading all the best way again into my room earlier than going again to take a seat down at my desk). Present step depend: 1,605. The objective is to get 1,000 steps per hour for 10 hours #math.

11:25am: I do suicides in my kitchen whereas ready for my tea to heat up within the microwave (a minute and a half). Step depend: 2,107. I am out of breath. My kitchen is perhaps 10 ft lengthy. Don’t decide me.

12:20pm: I am rapidly falling behind on my 1,000-steps-per-hour objective. I make extra tea (I don’t really need it, but it surely’s an excuse to maneuver some extra). I do suicides in my hallway this time, which is so much creakier than my kitchen and subsequently extra prone to piss off my downstairs neighbor, however my hallway is so much longer than my kitchen. Nonetheless not adequate; I’m solely at 2,300-ish steps. I run backwards and forwards within the kitchen just a few extra instances. Nonetheless not making an enormous dent: 2,444.

12:26: I tempo round my condo a bunch extra instances. 2,535. I have to do one thing loopy to rise up to three,000. I’ve taken a ballot on my Instagram story on whether or not or not strolling in place counts; most individuals assume it does. Nonetheless, that feels sort of like dishonest to me, so I’ll reserve it for a final resort.

1:10pm: I’ve tried to make as many pointless laps round my condo as I can, however I’m nonetheless solely at 2,874. Must magically determine a technique to get 1,000 extra steps in within the subsequent 20 minutes so I can keep on observe. Oh yeah, and do my job. That.

1:14pm: The draw back of ingesting a lot water (to get extra steps to the kitchen) is I’m peeing continuously. On the upside, this bitch will likely be hydrated af.

2:21pm: 3,231 steps. Gonna must take drastic measures.

2:50pm: 3,371, however to be truthful, I’ve been like, truly sitting at my desk doing work for some time.

3:01pm: Resolve to name my web firm to ask them a query. (This may later show to be a grave error.) However whereas I’m on maintain with Spectrum, it’s a good time to begin pacing once more. Downstairs neighbor should assume I’m going by it.

3:10pm: Nonetheless on maintain. Graduated from pacing to kitchen suicides. Step depend: 4,143.

3:20pm: I hand over on Spectrum. Nothing is that necessary.

3:30pm: I get an e-mail that the health mat I had ordered a pair days in the past says it’s arrived. Time to placed on sneakers and go downstairs the three flights to examine—not touching any banisters. 

3:34pm: I think about operating up and down my steps just a few instances, however in the end, laziness wins out. 4,315. 

5:12pm: At the moment at 4,819 which is nearly half (for these of you who can’t do primary math). The excellent news is I nonetheless haven’t achieved my exercise video but, which ought to convey me very near my objective. The dangerous information is that I have zero need to maneuver my physique in any respect. Possibly after a snack the motivation will all of a sudden seem.

5:13pm: A King’s Hawaiian candy roll and peanut butter is a wholesome snack, proper?

5:55pm: Exercise time. I’m debating between a 305 Health video (which they put up on Youtube after the every day dwell streams), which I know will get me to the objective, vs. Sweat440, which is my private favourite and extra HIIT/firming than straight cardio like 305. I low-key hate cardio. Plus, I can’t booty pop or physique roll, which makes up a big a part of 305’s repertoire. What I’m saying, is, I can’t dance!! Double plus, my downstairs neighbor is… shall we embrace… vocal… and all of the leaping with 305 looks as if a nasty concept. I select Sweat440.

6:35pm: I end the exercise, dripping in sweat—the studio lives as much as its title, that’s for positive. I examine my step counter: 6,069. Welp. All that, and solely like, 1,000 additional steps. I am mainly giving up at this level.

10:18pm: Ending a Netflix documentary earlier than mattress (it’s true crime, why do I do that to myself) so I’m going to stroll round my front room, however hitting the objective shouldn’t be wanting seemingly. Present depend: 8,255. If I can get to 9,000 I’ll really feel achieved. However now I have one thing to show, so perhaps I’ll resort to strolling in place.

10:27pm: No. I received’t go down and not using a combat. Again to the kitchen it’s, the place I can put my laptop computer on the island and stroll backwards and forwards with minimal creaking.

10:45pm: Victory!

Whereas it’s potential to get 10,000 steps with out stepping foot exterior, it’s not precisely simple and I needed to get artistic (learn: just a little free with my definition of “strolling”). It’s not a nasty various if circumstances worsen and you actually can’t go exterior, however I would solely do it once more if I like, was as soon as once more motivated by the thought of doing one thing seemingly inconceivable. In any other case, I’d simply go about my regular indoor routine and disrespect my step depend. Or simply go on a stroll or jog exterior so long as officers say that’s secure. Keep secure, all people!

Photos: George Rudy / Shutterstock.com; Sara Levine (2); Giphy (2)