After practically a yr of courting and numerous walks across the block, not-so-subtly toting numerous Dunkin’ Donuts menu objects, information broke that the unimaginatively named BenAna was no extra: Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas have cut up.

Their breakup is enjoying out very similar to their relationship did, with their drama being thrown into my face each time I open up IG. Am I shocked they broke up? No. Am I shocked at how their very public breakup is enjoying out? Somewhat. Tbh, I’d count on one thing like this from like, Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. (Perhaps it’s simply because they, too, have been keen on staged quarantine walks.)

Then once more, ought to I be stunned by this excessive school-esque post-breakup conduct (ill-advised haircuts and all)? Let’s have a look again. After they first began courting, Ana informed her buddies Ben is “the perfect boyfriend ever”. The couple even obtained matching necklaces. (At the very least that they had the frequent sense to not get tattoos.) I wouldn’t be shocked if Ana made a shirt that mentioned “I <three Ben” and wore it below all her garments. 

A supply informed PEOPLE that their cut up was “mutual” and “utterly amicable”, but when that is thought of a pleasant breakup, then all of my exes and I are greatest buddies. For one, sources report that Ana was the one who initiated the breakup, and she or he did so by way of cellphone name. Is that this 2008, and are we Joe Jonas? Ben and Ana have been collectively for a yr, and Ana lives with the person! You’re telling me that she couldn’t have given him a heads up in individual on her approach out the door? She has to seize her sh*t anyway.

Whereas the supply insisted, “there may be deep love and respect there”, Ben’s trash bin says in any other case. Yesterday, Ben’s cardboard cut-out of Ana was noticed being thrown out exterior his house. The man didn’t even trouble to masks the truth that it’s Ana; he simply tossed her nonchalantly for the rubbish males, and paparazzi, to see. You’re telling me he couldn’t simply burn the cut-out in his yard? No, this was deliberate.

Ana, for her half, was a bit extra refined in speaking her emotions, although all of us get the message: she went forward and shocked the world with some recent micro bangs. I imply, who amongst us has not made a tragic and rash hair determination within the throes of a breakup?

So, to cite Cardi B, what was causing the cut up? Did quarantining collectively lastly break the couple? Did they run out of Dunkin’ Donuts menu objects to strive? Did they merely get uninterested in taking unmasked walks and pretending to snort at one another’s jokes? Did the paparazzi cease taking their calls??

For now, the prevailing narrative is that there are not any arduous emotions. A supply informed InTouch that the explanation for the breakup was as a result of Ana is “gallivanting” all over the world with out Ben, and it’s left him feeling misplaced and needy. Based on PEOPLE, “Ana doesn’t need to be Los Angeles primarily based and Ben clearly has to since his children stay in Los Angeles.” One other supply reported that it’s as a result of Ben doesn’t need any extra children, however Ana does. 

The couple met in New Orleans in 2019 whereas filming the upcoming so-called “erotic thriller” Deep Water, and shortly went on a celeb relationship press tour: first visiting de Armas’s house nation of Cuba in March 2020 (mid-pandemic), and later going to Costa Rica. They have been even photographed with Affleck’s kids and ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, suggesting every part within the relationship was rosy. However alas, everybody runs out of picture opps finally, and the connection was not meant to be.

What’s subsequent for Ben and Ana? Perhaps Ben will toss her issues on his garden, or put on a T-shirt emblazoned with a shady message. Maybe Ana will get along with a brand new man throughout the week, one who’s considerably youthful than Ben. One factor we will wager on is a critically uncomfortable press tour for Deep Water (and possibly simply as unhealthy ticket gross sales).

Regardless of the cause, I’ll miss this couple. Not as a result of I assumed they have been essentially a superb match, however as a result of their clearly staged paparazzi shoots and obscure donut sponcon have been a constant tabloid fixture in these inconsistent occasions. I’ll keep refreshing Instagram, as a result of I’m certain we haven’t heard the final from this couple, who was simply as attention-seeking of their relationship as they’re of their breakup. Although one thing went fallacious for the pair, not less than they know how one can do one factor proper collectively: preserve us entertained.

Photos: BG004/Bauer-Griffin/GC Photos