There are many moments on The Bachelor that make me cringe: the corny, pun-filled limo entrances, the girl-on-girl drama so clearly staged by producers, the infinite “can I steal you for a sec?” interruptions, and the listing goes on and on. However nothing makes my total physique viscerally react as if I simply downed three consecutive pictures of vodka fairly like when contestants name the Bachelor their “boyfriend.”
You have frolicked with this dude one-on-one for perhaps a collective two hours. Do you even know his center identify?
It occurs, with out fail, each season — typically sooner than others — and it took till week 4 of Peter Weber’s stint because the Bachelor for not one however two completely different girls to check with the good-looking airline pilot as their “boyfriend.” Like, woman, you have frolicked with this dude one-on-one for perhaps a collective two hours . . . on a actuality tv present . . . whereas surrounded by cameras . . . doubtless discussing sure subjects prompted by the producers. Do you even know his center identify? His favourite film? Whether or not he can cook dinner? What he likes to do for enjoyable? His greatest buddy’s identify? I am gonna go together with in all probability not on all the above.
Oh, and likewise, did you simply conveniently overlook that he is attending to know tons of different chicks on the similar time? Final time I checked, the time period “boyfriend” historically denotes a sure stage of monogamy, and the entire level of being the Bachelor is to sift by 30 girls to search out the one worthy of that blingy Neil Lane ring and certain an extended engagement adopted by a publicity-fueled breakup. Within the regular world exterior of the ABC courting collection, I do not know many ladies who’d use the time period boyfriend to check with a man who’s knowingly seeing different girls — proper in entrance of their faces, at that.
Look, I get it. I am certain if you’re a contestant on The Bachelor, you get swept up within the magic of the entire “journey” and blinded by the prospects of touchdown a gummy bear hair complement influencing gig when you’re eradicated. However please — for the love of all that’s good on this world and the sake of my physique, which is exhausted from cringing each Monday evening — kindly chorus from calling the Bachelor your boyfriend. I am begging you on behalf of Bachelor Nation. Thanks for coming to my Ted Discuss.